Intimacy and Fidelity

Intimacy in marriage is a key component.  Knowing this, still many couples struggle in this area.  This week we read many articles and quotes on intimacy.  In a talk by Brent A. Barlow titled, “They Twain Shall Be One:  Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage”, he talked about how in order to “know each other physically, couples need to talk together about the physical dimensions of their relationship”.  While these subjects feel very sacred and sometimes uncomfortable, it is important to communicate with our spouses about our physical relationships.  I know in my own marriage, my husband and I found ourselves on totally different pages where this was concerned.  For over a year, it was an area of contention and argument.  We finally sat down and talked about it.  We were both so surprised by how each other was feeling.  Once we talked about it, and understood each other’s desires and needs, things were much better. 

                We also read some articles on fidelity in marriage.  There was a story written by a student that really touched me.  She talked about a male friend in her life with whom she looked forward to seeing.  She realized that she was in the beginning stages of being unfaithful.  This really scared me.  I work with men, and associate with men in my role at my daughter’s school and this made me think, am I talking to anyone too much?  Or confiding in someone too much?  Recently a friend of mine went through a divorce.  They were a great couple, married in the temple, her husband was the Elders Quorum president.  They often went out with another couple, also members of the church.  Without her knowing, her husband and this other woman, started talking outside of going out as couples.  Soon, he was telling her that he was in love with this other woman.  I was so shocked.  Now their three daughters are suffering, and two eternal marriages were broken. We need to be so careful with how we act with other adults that are not our spouses.  Satan knows how to trick us and he will take advantage of otherwise innocent relationships.

                In a talk by Kenneth Matheson, he proposed several questions to consider.  A couple of these were:  Are you turning to a friend rather than your spouse for comfort?  Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when at home?  Do you compare your spouse to your friend?  These questions are great tools in keeping yourself on track in your relationship.  We need to be true to our spouses.  Our relationships wont thrive if our minds are somewhere else.